20 Ways To Be A Better Listener When Your Friend Needs To Vent

beben-eleben:

1. Do not just ask your friend questions because you want them to ask you in return.

“What’d you do last weekend? Nothing? Well, I had the best Saturday night…”

2. Actually listen when they do have a legit response to your inquiries.

It’s best not to just wait for your turn to talk. This seems simple but it is key. Do not just show the initial interest but make sure you carry it throughout. You care about this person and you care about their answer. I have a friend that goes on twenty minute long tangents and when she finally asks me a question, she loses interest, simply ignores my response and says something completely different. A lot of people avoid her for this reason.

3. Make eye contact.

Do not be looking behind that person staring off into space thinking about what you’re having for dinner tonight or when your boyfriend’s going to text you. Do not look over at other people having a conversation. Or away in boredom. It’s insulting and the other person can actually tell, since you are their sole focus at that moment.

4. Resist the urge to say generic things in between or throughout someone’s talking.

Examples include “mmhmm”, “ohhh”, and “yeah” every other sentence. It’s the worst when someone is interrupting your flow with their own background noise. Not only is it distracting but it sounds like they are just enamored with their own voice. Also: elaborate/constant nodding is just…visually offensive.

5. If you’re listening well, you’ll be able to remind the speaker if they were interrupted by you or another person where they left off, so they can pick the story up again

Even come up with a specific example. There have been an unspeakable amount of times where I’ve been telling a good story — I mean something really juicy — got rudely interrupted, and then the topic was changed immediately after. Unfortunately I’ve found it’s even more heartbreaking to watch happen to somebody in a group setting. Just watch for it and it’ll be easy enough to spot.

6. Try not to interrupt a story or rant with a totally different subject in the first place

This should be obvious but once in a while I’ve found those that are so overeager with the amount of important thoughts brimming over in their heads that they can’t contain them any longer. Sadly, it can be very frustrating to the speaker as it suddenly dawns on them that they don’t have your full attention.

7. At all costs avoid the knee-jerk immediate generic response after someone’s told you a) something that really matters to them, b) something that leaves them vulnerable, or c) both of the above

Take your time to think of something that is honest, genuine, and appropriate to what is being said. It’s not too hard, trust me.

8. Listen to the entire thing before you decide to make snap judgments or calls about the situation

Do no act like you know anything about it until they have completely and totally finished their monologue.

Read More

italiananghilaw:

people who randomly decide to compliment you are so important

(Source: croutoncat)

dyosanglandi:

ghcst:

im so miserable but i laugh at everything

my life

"

1. It’s okay to smile just because you remembered a few things someone said or because you suddenly remembered the person who helped you pick up your books that fell. It’s okay to be happy and not think about the never ending happiness - sadness cycle.

2. He left you but it’s okay. There’s no longer a need in your system to cry yourself to sleep. You’ve forgiven him and that heals the wound in your being.

3. Some people will remember the little things about you and let them. Not everyone will use those things against you. There are people who genuinely like the little things about you. So let them.

4. Do not take sleep for granted. Sleep when you can because there are nights that you simply cannot travel to dreamland.

5. Appreciate the people you have in your life right now because not everyone is going to stay. Show them how much you care and how much they mean to you.

6. Sometimes, you should stop hiding behind metaphors and similes. Stop hiding behind your words.

7. Never stop moving forward. Let the uncertainty of tomorrow be the reason why you continue to wake up everyday.

8. Look out of your window and you might just find yourself falling in love with what the morning light cannot show you.

9. Coffee is not the solution to everything, darling.

10. It’s fine to miss people — their voice, their warmth, their smile and laughter, their presence. It’s okay to admit that you miss him.

11. Life is beautiful and so are you.

"

- Realizations at three in the morning. (via mediwriter)

(via misanthropiste-deactivated20140)

"People say to you, ‘you’ve changed’, or something like that, well, I hope, for the sake of God that you have changed, because I don’t want to be the same person all my life. I want to be growing, I want to be expanding. I want to be changing. Because animate things change, inanimate things don’t change. Dead things don’t change. And the heart should be alive, it should be changing, it should be moving, it should be growing, its knowledge should be expanding."

- Shaykh Hamza Yusuf (via coyotegold)

(Source: choices-notchances, via winniedapooh-et)

71 Simple British Slang Phrases Everyone Should Start Using

beben-eleben:

1. Any road: used in place of “any way,” primarily used in the north of Britain.

2. Baccy: shortened word for “tobacco;” also, “wacky backy” means marijuana.

3. Barmy: crazy, insane; always derogatory.

4. Bender: derogatory term for homosexual, like “poof.” (Note: You probably shouldn’t use it or you’ll get slapped, but it’s worthy of note for giving Futurama a very different meaning.)

5. Biggie: term children might use to describe feces; also, an erection.

6. Bits ‘n Bobs: various things. (Example: “My mother has a lot of Bits ‘n Bobs around the house.”)

7. “Bob’s your uncle!”: “There you go! You’ve got it!”

8. Bollocks: technically means “balls,” but often describes something seen as extremely negative or lacking in value; e.g. “total shit.”

9. “Bugger off!”: “Go away!” or “Leave me alone!” (Note: Bugger, used on its own, is akin to “Fuck!” or “Shit!”)

10. Chav: white trash.

11. Cheeky: to be not respectful of something, having a flippant or facetious attitude.

12. Chin Wag: to have a chat with someone.

13. Collywobbles: extreme queasiness or stomach pain brought on by stress, nervousness or anxiety.

14. Crusty Dragon: a piece of snot or booger.

15. Daft Cow: a very stupid person (See also: “Wazzock.”)

16. Dog’s Bollocks: extremely good or favorable, great

17. Dog’s Dinner: to be dressed nicely or look dapper.

18. Donkey’s Years: ages, as in “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

19. Fagged: disturbed, bothered or interrupted (Example: If one were studying for a test, one would not want to be “fagged.”)

20. Fall Arse Over Tit: to have an embarrassing fall or to topple over.

21. Fanny: vagina.

22. Fit: hot or sexually desirable.

23. The Full Monty: going all the way with it, going big instead of going home.

24. “Get stuffed!”: “Beat it” or “Scram!”

25. Gobby: loudly opinionated, offensive or prickish. (See: Donald Trump.)

26. Gobsmacked: amazed or awed by something.

27. Gormless: completely clueless, like Alicia Silverstone in the 90s film.

28. To Have A Butcher’s: to take a look at something or someone.

29. Her Majesty’s Pleasure: being incarcerated or put in prison.

30. “How’s Your Father?”: euphemism for sex (Example: “Have you and your wife had any of the ol’ ‘How’s your father?’ recently?”)

Read More

vves:

do you ever read old conversations you had with someone and realize how much more they used to be interested you and it makes you feel like complete shit because everything is different now and you can tell you’ve just lost that shine that got their attention in the first place

(via denissaur)

"Before you know it it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart."

- (via willyoulovemeh)

(Source: anitaspallenberg, via lheya)

punkasslouis:

do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain

(via kulangotsapisngi)